Boyfriends, ex boyfriends, and hopeful boyfriends alike, this page is for you. I want to talk to you about the psychology of what I do, and why “your” girl wants to pose for my website.
I offer a very unique, very powerful service. I build self confidence, and positive self image in my clients.
Women NEED to feel sexy. With today’s mainstream media, most women get into the comparison trap where they compare their daily selves to the perfectly lit, posed, and photoshopped models, actresses, and VIPs they see online, in magazines, and on TV. That’s the most obvious reason. I do for them, what other professionals do for those models, actresses, and VIPs.
Instead of lifting them up and allowing them to feel sexy, a lot of you guys beat their self image and confidence into the ground especially when ya’ll are having trouble, rather than realize that it’s just incompatibility or your own discontent in your current situation. The difference between the hot model you pine over and your girlfriend, is that model is fine being seen wearing almost nothing. Well… So’s your girlfriend if she wasn’t worried about what you’d think. Don’t get complacent, it will bite you in the ass. Quite a few of the girls I’ve worked with are fresh out of shitty relationships with guys that do this.
In some ways I wanna thank ya’ll as you make my job easier. In others, I wanna hit you in the face for being such an immature asshole treating someone you once cared about so horribly. Most of you are horribly ignorant to what you do or the effects you have on others, so… I just clean up your mess and save the anger for someone who deserves it more.
You might actually pay attention to her if she does a shoot. Attention is relationship currency. Good or bad, women crave it, and if they’re not getting it, they’re going to find a way. Good attention is fuel for the woman you fell for. When she was single, and you liked her enough to chase after her at all cost, she got attention from all kinds of places. Different people, different types, she was hit on a lot, and that does something for her ego and self image. Ya’ll get in a relationship, you quit chasing, others quit chasing, she turns down the platonic flirting out of respect for you, and becomes unhappy. When she’s unhappy, you’re no longer as attracted to her as you were, making her even more unhappy. She’s unhappy because of you. Not directly, but she’s enduring a life without awesome attention for you. As a boyfriend, it’s your job to make sure she gets all that attention she needs, but most of you fail miserably. …and that’s why your girlfriend is in my studio posing in her underwear.
So I saw your girlfriend naked. It happens… That’s kind of what we do here. Just so you know, I typically stay 10’+ away from them when we shoot. (70-200mm lens minimum focus distance is 3 meters) Also, when I want them to make a sexy face, I get them to think about you. I literally link good feelings to your ding dong and photograph the faces she makes thinking about it. Now every time she sees those pics, she thinks about you. I guarantee most of these women would not make good faces if I started talking about my own sexuality, so I leave that completely out of the equation. I do what I need to for the shot, and after we’re done, I have another shoot coming up, she goes back home to you, and you get to enjoy a girlfriend with a boost of confidence. I’m not Mr. Steal Your Girl unless you act like an asshole for her taking care of her own emotional and psychological needs, and even then, she’s likely not running to my arms, just out of yours.
Photography is emotion based. I intimately know the women I work with at least in the way of how their emotions work while they’re in front of the camera. Our conversation is always about things that make them happy, confident, and attractive. They can’t hide their emotions from me during a shoot, because I capture micro expressions that show exactly how they feel about whatever we’re talking about. If she lights up when I bring you up, that’s what we talk about. If she doesn’t, your relationship is either not doing well now, or not what she wants long term, and I change the subject to a celebrity crush, or best partner in the past. Do I help them realize that they’re not happy with you? Sometimes, though it’s not my intention. My goal is happiness, I hear what they have to say about their own happiness, and guide them towards what I can visually see they want. When that’s not you… I’m just saving you both months or years of your life for a relationship that’s going to end anyways.
Your rights. You have none here. I retain copyright of the images, she approves what I publish, and that is it. Unless she explicitly sends you the photos, you don’t even have rights to see them, definitely have no rights to publish them, and no matter how bad you feel she hurt you, you have no right to use them to cause harm to her. Thankfully over the past few years, there’s been laws against that that come with pretty severe punishments for revengeful exes. I assure you, no girl ever comes in my studio with the intent of hurting someone. They do it to feel good about themselves, so if you’re hurt, upset, or angry about what she’s done, you need to take the time to understand why.
All and all, this is a job for me. It’s a fucking cool one, but it’s still work. I spent a few hours just getting to the point of shooting, then the shoot, then a few hours after the shoot sorting, editing, building pages, posting, etc.